Daddy's Birthday

Well, my Dad will be EIGHTY-TWO in a few short hours.

Thursday is my Daddy's 82nd birthday - going to celebrate with him will be bittersweet as he is having increasing difficulty remembering my mother- even though they were married over 30 years - he asked me her name on Father's Day...so visits more than a few minutes are increasingly difficult for me to withstand.

He is a retired minister, his salvation is secure, and he's trapped from two strokes in a slowly dying body. He can talk and move from bed to electric wheelchair...not a fulfilling life for him. I sometimes wish God would allow him to come home as much as it would hurt to see him go - he wouldn't be sad anymore. I am fighting within myself between loving the man who used to be my Daddy and managing the affairs for the body named Robert Garrett. I am ill-equipped for this kind of grief - it is actually greater than that of losing my mother.

He took care of me, he provided for me, he loved me, and he quit drinking ANY alcohol after my sister moved home with a drinking problem - he was in his 70s - and because his adult daughter needed an alcohol-free place - he quit, he sacrificed his comfort for my sister. He taught me worry is a sin, not to worry and "on the morrow" things would look differently than in the present moment. He has said in lucid times that he's ready anytime the Lord wants to take him and not to be sad because I know his destination. For these reasons, it feels extremely unfair that he doesn't have the ability to enjoy his "golden years". My kids miss him being able to get around and play with them.

In addition, two of my children are sick - one w/ a low-grade fever and I may not be able to go see him at all - we received a letter from his facility that if we are sick or family member is sick, please postpone your visit...but it's his birthday!
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right?