Life's Road...

It's been MONTHS since my last post and I wanted my "blog" to be like Julie and Kelly - all family oriented with pictures as a scrap-book substitute...
I finally came to the realization that it's just not me.
My blog might not be very popular, nor even interesting to most BUT at least I will know that I "say what I need to say" :-)

My life exists in a better plane when I'm involved in music...particularly Christian Praise/Worship. I was in a group in a great church and I was really sad and somewhat shocked when I felt it was time to step back. I knew between my physical illness and my experience that it wasn't good for my family because I didn't have energy for them but managed to get myself to practice - fair? I think not! Then my husband told me I was on a break...heartbreak would have been more appropriate.
How could I walk through those doors and watch my friends and team-mates enjoy my greatest love outside my home?

I sum it up to the fact that there are seasons for everything, and although I enjoy it, it may not be available to me all the time. My husband's only request is that I get better. A tall order when migraines attack frequently.

So, on a family weekend, we found a new church to visit just to have a break. I wouldn't feel any obligation - it turned out they have a program for all sorts of "ailments". We met the pastor and he said "Recovery is good for anybody; you don't have to be a meth-head to go" - needless to say, that cracked me up - but it stuck with me.
I realized I had become a shrew. I hated feeling bad, my family hated me feeling bad and it was time to do something about it. So off I went... Wouldn't you know it's on Friday evenings and even better - they have a band.
I auditioned to be a back-up singer my second week. Then they actually asked me to play keyboard - umm I haven't played in 10 years.... my attempts with the younger kids at church were rough, so I didn't think I could - but the band members were patient and somehow it worked out - I was so excited, but still had a choice about Sundays...

Now I have to find a way to express my gratitude to the members of my old church and hope that they take me at my word; grateful.
Right now, I need to just be a congregation member for services. Once I can manage my home, I'll see about more. My dear husband is big on not burning bridges, and he's right - I hope they'll understand. All I can do is tell them all I love them very much, I am grateful to have had time with them and that I have to defeat these headaches. If I give up now, I'm no better than those I criticize for not doing anything about his/her circumstances.

As I said; my blog might not be catchy and fun; but it's a leap for me - I'm not the mother my mom was. She would have had the scrap book :-)